Accurate and Funny

I just heard a congressman refer to this absurd bailout as "Fleece in our time." Amen.

The Best Day of the Year

Today is that day--the day when the husband makes his wonderful meat sauce. The kitchen smells delightful, I get a Saturday off from cooking, and I know we'll have a lovely spaghetti and meatball dinner tonight. Oh yes, life is good.

Physical Therapy

For years now, I have had pretty consistent shoulder and neck pain, particularly after a long day at work. Recently, it's gotten so bad that I can't spend an evening without a heating pad. I went to my doctor last week and she prescribed physical therapy. Here's what happened: I had about 15 minutes of traction, followed by a few exercises. Then, they hooked me up to some electrodes on my shoulders which came on every few seconds to give me a tingly sensation on my shoulders. The electrodes were topped off with a heating pad.

I didn't expect much, but when I got into my car, something seemed wrong. I realized then that it was the fact that I could easily move my head around with no tension whatsoever. It felt really odd after years of feeling otherwise; I kind of felt like the rubber head of Ray Milland in the long shots in The Thing With Two Heads.

Take Your Stinkin' Right of Way!

What is it with Pittsburgh, and Mt. Lebanon in particular? No one will take their right of way. It is so frustrating to be coming home from work, hit a four-way stop, see each car arrive in its turn, then sit there while everyone flaps their hands back and forth like a bunch of dying pigeons.

C'mon people. There is a reason that the rules are what they are. I know you think you're being polite. Maybe you think it's just another thing assuring your place in heaven. But honestly, just go when it's your turn. It saves a whole lot of time.

Hideous Nightmares?

I went to the doctor on Wednesday to get some advice on my constantly painful neck and shoulders. For that, she prescribed some physical therapy, which I start this week. She also mentioned that great new drug, Chantix, for smoking cessation.

But she led with the bad news. The reason you don't gain weight while on it is that you are generally nauseated. OK, well, if a pregnant woman can live with that, so can I. Oh, yes, and you have extremely vivid horrifying nightmares. Now, see, that I don't think I can live with. I have enough bad nightmares as it is, thank you very much.

I can imagine waking wide-eyed and in a cold sweat, maintaining that haunted look all through the day at work, fearing the next night's movies.

Yah.

Paleo Diet

Some people who frequent a blog I read now and then have been raving about the Paleo Diet. The premise is that you only eat food pre-agriculture--meat and root vegetables mostly. You can't eat anything that is toxic in its raw state--so while root vegetables in general are OK, taters are not.

Let me say this about that. I would rather hack off my own forearms and attach my hands to my elbows than live without pasta.

ARRRRR

I can't believe I forgot that today is Talk Like a Pirate Day! All ye rapscallions out there have yerself a great day! ARRRRRRR.

Me and Poncho

As a die-hard Pooch Cafe fan, I am going to be participating in this fun little exercise. I will likely be taking shots of Poncho in the Strip District (purchasing Havarti, his favorite cheese, at Penn Mac), on the Incline and on Mt. Washington. If there are any Pittsburghers or former Pittsburghers out there who have any other ideas of a "Pittsburghy shot", let me know!

Religious Right vs. Communist Left

I hate election season. We have a choice between a middle-of-the-road Republican with a religious freak for a running mate and a radical leftist with an idiot for a running mate. What fun.

I read an article recently (I can't find it, or I'd link it here) that stated that in all of the speeches given by both candidates, not one of them used the word "freedom". Not even insincerely. Not even lip service. Nothing.

Is this what we've come to? Is our only choice to have our wallets or our personal lives enslaved to the state? Irrationalism by emotionalism or irrationalism by faith?

I can only hope that the outcome of this election results in an America so foul, so dreadful, that people come to their senses and realize what freedom means.